Many parents do not think to have detailed conversations with their children about the dangers and repercussions of cyber-bullying. They focus on the physical safety of their kids (as they should), but fail to realize that in today's technologically advanced society ... children are being terrorized in the safety of their own home, by bullies that can do irreparable damage to a child's psyche.
How bad has cyber-bullying gotten?
- The i-Safe Foundation reports that over 50% of adolescents and teens have reported being bullied online at least once.
- 1 in 3 children report being threatened by someone online.
- 25% of adolescents and teens have reported being repeatedly threatened or harassed online.
- Sadly, 50% of kids, who are cyber-bullied, will not tell their parents out of fear or embarrassment.
- Cyber-bullying crosses all racial, cultural and socio-economic lines. No group is immune.
So what is a parent to do? Approach talking about cyber-bullying with the same intensity that you would talking about their physical safety. Parents should make sure that the lines of communication stay open, and their child feels comfortable telling them anything. Here are a few things you can do to prevent your child from becoming a victim or helping them once victimized.
- Most importantly, keep all texts, emails or posts that show the content of the bullying and who is sending it. Tell your child not to erase anything including their reply, if any, back to the the bully.
- File a police report. Cyber-bullying is a crime and should be approached as such. Let your child know that if they turn around and bully someone online, they can be criminally charged and that can affect their ability to qualify for scholarships and future employment.
- Talk to the school administration and make them aware of the situation and see if they can intervene or arrange a meeting with the bully's parents. Cyberbullies' parents often are unaware of what their child is doing online and oftentimes can put a stop to it if informed.
- Block the cyber bully's IP address or phone number. Call the bully's Internet provider or cell phone company and report them for harassment also. Some may help, other may not, but at least there is a paper trail if the harassment continues, and the bully is eventually criminally prosecuted.
- Invest in a family friendly router that can be programmed to avoid certain sites, trigger on pre-programmed words and be controlled through your cell phone. Invest in software that can re-create keystrokes so you can see what your child is writing to whom even if they delete the message.
- Teach your child to not share anything personal online! Once it is written or uploaded online, it's there forever. Tell them whenever they use a computer, tablet or their cell phone, to act as if you are standing behind them watching what they write and share. This is especially important with teens, as teens have been tricked into sharing inappropriate pictures or sexting messages that later are used to blackmail or embarrass the teen.
- Until your child has graduated from high school, you should have access to all of their social media accounts and cell phone accounts. If they password protect anything, they must give you the correct password or lose access to that account. Have them sign a digital contract where you lay out the terms they are to adhere to in using the Internet and social media. Create your own accounts and friend them on social media to see what they post and what is posted about them. Don't fall for their complaints that you're invading their privacy! You are their parent, not their friend and it is your job to act accordingly.
Cyber-bullying has spiraled and spread in the last decade. You can find worldwide cases of cyber-bullying that range from elementary school children being mean all the way to harassment at the most prestigious work places. No matter who the intended victim is, it will hurt and can leave lasting emotional scars.
One thing everyone should realize is that cyberbullies are weak people, that hide behind keyboards and social media, to try and exert influence or pain on others they are generally jealous of or dislike. They are essentially cyber terrorists. So please take any case of cyber-bullying against anyone in your family, as you would a real physical terrorist threat, and deal with it quickly and decisively before it escalates to another level.
"Remember if you fail to plan, Plan to fail"
